Proof That Lucasfilm Hates Its Fans

Sci-fi enthusiasts are deeply divided on how to feel about Lucasfilm and its handling of the Star Wars franchise. On one hand, Star Wars belongs completely to George Lucas, its creator, and Lucasfilm Studios. But fans also argue that Star Wars has taken on a much greater cultural relevance than Lucas ever intended or can manage himself, so the franchise owes a certain loyalty to the masses who have kept it alive. No matter where you stand in the Great Lucas Debate, Lucasfilm likes to make it very clear that fans are playing in their playground, and Lucasfilm will do whatever it wants. So, what proof do we have that Lucasfilm hates us?

George Lucas Has Said It

The most obvious evidence in the case of Nerds vs. Lucasfilm is that George Lucas has said that he dislikes the attitude of much of the Star Wars fanbase. It’s true that fans of Star Wars can be incredibly intense and say some pretty ridiculous things, but that’s true of any nerd-based cluster. After many years of being dragged over the coals by fans who were justifiably disappointed in goofy the Prequel Trilogy, Lucas hung up his directorial lightsaber for good, which may not be a bad thing. Art invites criticism, and George just couldn’t handle it.

Ridiculous Revisions

Lucas, as the true owner and originator of the whole Star Wars thing, can do whatever he wants with his world, but he’s definitely not a believer in getting it done right the first time. Almost all of his choices when revising the Original Trilogy into the “Special Editions” made the films worse, from Darth Vader’s whiny screams to hundreds of additional CGI Stormtroopers blasting the bejesus out of everything and still missing, leading many to inquire about his approaching senility. It’s almost as if Lucasfilm doesn’t trust the audience to pick up on subtlety or authenticity. We might have Han Solo bedsheets, but we’re all grown-ups, dude.

DVD, Or Not DVD?

It’s not easy to get a copy of the original, uncut, unedited Star Wars trilogy, and for a long time, fans would have to hunt down a VHS or Laserdisc copy if they wanted the true theatrical experience. Lucas had declared that the unedited original films would never show up on DVD, and fans would have to settle for viewing them on obsolete media formats…until, of course, the original versions were released on DVD after all—except they were just transfers from the old low-quality Laserdiscs. Releasing the Original Trilogy on DVD or Blu-ray and making it easy to find would be like printing money, but Lucasfilm refuses to relent for artistic, moronic reasons.

Screw You, EU

Lucasfilm announced in 2015 that everything from the Star Wars Expanded Universe is now irrelevant; Mara Jade, Darth Caedus, little Han Solo babies….all gone. While all of this fiction still exists in an alternate universe context, none if it has any bearing on the core Star Wars universe anymore. That’s decades of material that fans were told to accept as canon being thrown in the trash because Lucasfilm felt like making some more movies and starting over. For fans who stuck with the franchise through thick and thin, this might be the cruelest blow of all. If you want a reboot, Lucas, maybe you should reboot yourself in the face.

 

Free The Gold Bikini

In addition to scrapping all auxiliary Star Wars materials, Lucasfilm has also declared that the era of Leia’s gold bikini is over. The iconic outfit, worn by Leia while captured in Jabba’s palace, will apparently no longer appear in any official Lucasfilm merchandise. Carrie Fisher, who once tweeted her support of her own bikini-clad action figure, recently tweeted again in support of eliminating all bikinis from all future Star Wars productions. The context of the original outfit is debatable, but it’s a vital part of Star Wars canon, as well as part of Leia’s excellent character development. To declare it dead is just as bad as saying that Greedo shot first.

The Incomplete Cantina

If you’re a true fan of Star Wars, you probably have a few action figures. Star Wars was the film that launched a million toys, and an entire genre of collecting, after all. Over the years, they’ve made toys of nearly every background character imaginable, including that dude in Bespin who’s just running around with an ice cream maker. Nerds worldwide are still missing two action figures, though: the Tonnika sisters. Appearing in the Cantina scene, the actresses who played the twins have refused to sign away the rights to their action figures, and Lucasfilm refuses to negotiate. Lucas has the resources to make it happen, but they won’t, because they hate us.

The Prequels

Yeah, we know, the prequels sucked. Really, really bad. Like, levels of suck heretofore unseen by human eyes, despite the fact that we as a species faced the bubonic plague. George Lucas created the original Star Wars to be a tale of a hero’s journey, earning millions of fans in the process. But when he made his prequels, he made them for kids, because kids are little cash registers that never run out of their parents’ money. Lucasfilm sold its soul for Yoda-shaped bubble bath bottles, and Star Wars fans were left to rot while George blew his nose on the original Chewbacca costume.

They Just Gave Up

The traditional special effects of the Original Trilogy were decades ahead of their time, establishing Lucasfilm as the best production studio in existence for fancy, ahead-of-its-time sci-fi stuff. And then the company just gave up. Lucasfilm’s shift to digital effects over clever, organic, practical effects sucked the soul right out of the company, and subsequently, the immersiveness of their films. With billions of dollars at its disposal, Lucasfilm gave Star Wars a terrible CGI Yoda, and fans got screwed yet again as the company embraced quick technology over effort and heart. George knew we’d buy tickets anyhow.